Authentic Offerings vs Empty Promises: How to Find True Transformation in a Crowded Healing Market

It feels like everywhere you look these days, someone is offering a wellbeing workshop, a healing session, or a spiritual retreat. From cacao ceremonies to meditation circles to energy healings, the market is saturated. On the surface, that sounds like a good thing—more choice, more opportunities for growth. But if you’ve ever walked away from an event feeling like nothing really shifted, you’ll know that not all offerings are created equal.

This isn’t about judgement. It’s about discernment. Because your journey deserves depth, and not everything out there will give you that.

I’ve been in both positions: sitting in the circle as a participant, and standing at the front as a facilitator. I’ve seen first-hand what happens when offerings are held with authenticity, and what happens when they’re not. And here’s the harsh truth: the healing community doesn’t need more facilitators. What we need is more depth.

So how do you tell the difference between something authentic and something shallow? How do you give yourself the best chance at real transformation? Here are some truths I’ve learned along the way.

1. You heal you. No one else.

This is the starting point. If you walk into any circle expecting the facilitator to “fix” you, you’re already setting yourself up for disappointment.

The real magic happens when an offering empowers you to step into your own healing. The best facilitators don’t give you answers—they hold a mirror. They help you see what’s already within you.

I remember going to a sound healing years ago. The facilitator was incredible, the space was beautiful, the gongs and bowls vibrated right through me. But the breakthrough didn’t come from them—it came because I allowed myself to go there. They created the conditions, but I did the work. That’s the difference.

2. Spirit-led, not ego-led.

This one is huge. You can feel it when someone is holding space from ego. Maybe it shows up in the way they talk more than they listen, or how the event feels like it’s about them rather than you.

A spirit-led facilitator doesn’t need to be the centre of attention. They’re there to guide, not to perform. They create a container that feels safe, grounded, and deeply human.

I once sat in a circle where the facilitator spent half the session telling their life story and “proving” how spiritual they were. It didn’t feel like they were holding space—it felt like they were holding attention. That’s a red flag.

3. If you know, you know.

Some people are genuinely called to this work. You can feel it in your bones when you sit with them. Others… not so much. Maybe their friends told them they’d be great at it. Maybe they just wanted to be part of the spiritual market.

There’s no malice in that, but here’s the truth: just because someone can host a circle doesn’t mean they should. The healing community doesn’t need more “hosts.” It needs people who are deeply rooted in their own practice, people who have walked through fire and can hold others through it too.

Trust your intuition. If you feel something is missing, it probably is.

4. Fair doesn’t mean cheap.

Pricing is always a touchy subject in the spiritual world. Some people say it should all be free. Others charge eye-watering amounts. The reality is somewhere in between.

When you pay for an offering, you’re not just paying for the two hours you spend in that room. You’re paying for the years—or even lifetimes—that the facilitator has invested in their own growth, study, and practice. That’s valuable.

But don’t confuse “expensive” with “transformational.” If someone is charging premium prices without the depth to back it up, that’s not fair value—it’s an empty promise. On the flip side, if someone is undervaluing their work to “compete,” it might mean they don’t fully trust what they’re offering.

I always say: feel into the exchange. Does it feel balanced? Does it honour both you and them? That’s what matters.

5. Jack of all trades, master of none.

This one is more for the facilitators, but as a participant you can be mindful too. In the spiritual world, it’s tempting to collect certificates like trophies. Reiki, sound healing, cacao, coaching, yoga, astrology—the list goes on. And while variety can be beautiful, more modalities don’t automatically mean more mastery.

The truth is, being good at holding space doesn’t come from how many tools you can list on a flyer. It comes from how deeply you’ve embodied the ones you truly connect with.

I’d rather sit with someone who has spent 20 years in devotion to one path than someone who’s spent 20 weekends dabbling in twenty different trainings. One brings depth. The other brings distraction.

So as a participant, ask yourself: does this facilitator feel like a master of their craft, or a collector of badges? And if you’re a facilitator, be honest with yourself—are you learning out of calling, or out of fear that you’re not enough?

6. Beware of empty offerings.

Most facilitators come from a place of love. But love on its own doesn’t automatically equal transformation. True healing requires presence, discipline, and the ability to hold high vibrations.

Think of it like food. Love is like salt—it makes everything better, but you can’t live on salt alone. You need substance, nourishment, depth. If the offering feels fluffy, surface-level, or performative, chances are it won’t give you much more than a nice evening out.

Ask yourself: did this touch my soul, or just my social calendar?

7. Has the facilitator faced their own shadow?

This might be the most important one of all. If someone hasn’t done the hard work of facing their own shadow—the messy, painful, unpolished parts of themselves—then they can’t safely hold you through yours.

Holding space isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real. It’s about being able to sit in discomfort without running from it. It’s about being strong enough to stay grounded when others are falling apart.

I’ve been in spaces where the facilitator crumbled under the energy in the room. They hadn’t yet learned to hold themselves, so they couldn’t hold anyone else. That’s not just unhelpful—it can actually be harmful.

Choose facilitators who have done their own deep work. You’ll feel it in their presence.

8. The harsh truth: we don’t need more facilitators.

This might sting, but it needs saying. The healing community doesn’t need more people setting up shop because it looks like a good idea. What we need is people who are willing to go deeper.

We need facilitators who broaden their horizons, who challenge themselves, who keep learning and unlearning. We need people who know the difference between holding space and holding attention.

Because at the end of the day, this isn’t about building a business—it’s about building a community that heals together.

So, how do you give yourself the best chance at transformation?

Here’s the distilled version:

• Remember: you heal you.

• Seek facilitators who are spirit-led, not ego-led.

• Trust your intuition—if you know, you know.

• Honour fair value, but don’t mistake cost for depth.

• Beware the “jack of all trades”—seek the masters.

• Avoid empty offerings. Look for nourishment, not fluff.

• Choose guides who have faced their own shadow.

• And above all, remember that depth matters more than quantity.

Final word

This isn’t about tearing anyone down. Most people in the wellbeing world mean well. But meaning well isn’t enough. Transformation requires depth, integrity, and authenticity.

So next time you’re choosing an offering, pause. Ask yourself: does this feel aligned with my journey? Does this facilitator feel grounded, real, spirit-led? Is there substance here, or just sparkle?

Because your healing is too important to hand over to shallow waters. Seek the depth. That’s where the transformation lies.