It’s been a minute hasn’t it? It feels like a long time since I last wrote a blog. Looking back, it has been just over a month. But what a month. When I last wrote to you, I was in Orlando with just over a week left before needing to come back to the UK. From there, I have sold a house, travelled to Maidenhead, travelled to London, travelled to Ross-On-Wye, and spent time living with my parents before finally getting a flight out of the country to start nomadic life.
So 4 days ago, we landed in Vietnam. Or to be more specific, Ha Noi. To some, and a few of those voiced this, it was a brave and frightening move. But to me, I didn’t see that. I saw the right next step. In fact, it felt as common sense as going to the shops.
That may sound hyperbolic, but let me explain. You see, when we make decisions, it isn’t really about how big or small the decision is. That part of the decision is often time-based. So the decision might seem like a big decision because of the ramifications (or the future) or perhaps the difficulty in getting it across the line based on the past. When you centre in on the present you don’t see these parts and so you don’t see big or small decision, just right or not right. And I am very specific here in saying not right. I don’t mean wrong, I mean not right now.
So for me, this decision was right. But getting to this awareness isn’t a quick step. It is straightforward, but it does take time. The two things you need are clarity and courage. You need the clarity to see what is right for you, and then the courage to act on it.
The first of these, the clarity, comes with entering the parasympathetic nervous system, the rest and digest state. It is here that you can relax, allow the body to feel safe, and begin switching off all the noise that is getting in the way of you seeing clearly. You do this by meditating and breathing. Resistance breathing in the single easiest tool to shift states. By breathing deeply into your diaphragm, you tell the body you are safe. There is a nerve called the vagus nerve and a bunch of chemicals in the gut that signal safety. Once the brain knows it is safe, it stops watching out for danger. It is this watchfulness that throws up the negative and limiting chatter in the mind. It is for good reason. After all, if you were walking into a threatening situation, you would need the context to do something about it. But too often now we are driven to stress and fear due to non-threatening situations.
The second then is the courage. It’s great getting the clarity, but what if we feel paralysed. Getting clarity doesn’t mean we act. Well, not at first anyway. This part is about repetition and faith. Once you have the clarity, back yourself. As Paulo Coelho wrote in The Alchemist – “when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” So when you see it clearly, go for it. This will start small, but after repeated attempts to find clarity and then follow the advice, you will start making these decisions in milliseconds and without hesitation. Then, you are in flow. You don’t have to ruminate. You don’t think about past experiences or future outcomes, just what is right, right now.
This is why Vietnam has been so settled and why there is no friction. It is why I don’t feel brave or scared. It’s why I feel free and limitless.
Here is a simple practise to get you started on the road to your frictionless self:
- Once a day, find a quiet space away from distraction.
- Sit or lie down. This will last a few minutes at first.
- Close your eyes and start to notice the breath. No change or force.
- After you start to become aware of the breath, shift it to breathing in and out through the nose or in and out through pursed lips.
- Then switch to a 4 or 5 second in breath, a 4 or 5 second hold, and an 8 or 10 second out breath. Then repeat.
- As thoughts arise at first, just let them come and go. Don’t interfere or judge them.
- After a few minutes of this breathing you will start to get clearer images or words. These are what you want to bring back out of the breathing with you.
- When you have reached the end of your time, let go of the breath, return to a natural breath.
- Then pick up your journal and pen and write what came up, what you were clearer on.
This simple practise is all that is needed to shift your state and allow clarity to come. But if you feel like there is more there or that it is a tougher nut to crack for you, we can work one-on-one and get you the clarity and courage you need to progress in life.
Just click this link to book a free compass call with me.